One day, there will be two: A wise word from a nurse to NICU ladies


Photo of newborns at NICU.

There are no pictures of my baby on his birthday.

There are pictures of that day, sure-of-me, connected with fetal screening, and giving a thumbs up; my smiling husband, sitting in a hospital chair, waiting for my fainting to (finally) begin — but no little boy ever changed my life forever.

When my water broke 35 weeks of my pregnancy, I was shocked. I did everything “good” all the way; I did not eat any “forbidden” foods, I took my pregnancy vitamins and tried to reduce my weight. I took delivery classes, visited a hospital, registered at a breastfeeding hospital, and also talked to specialists to find out how you can get more sleep during pregnancy. However, it seems that the babies have their own time, and we are about to climb.

And as a result, my sweet son, Bennett, came into the world one month and a day before the expected date. I held her for a moment, feeling her weight and heat in my chest while stroking her head, then watching her leave with a team of experts and my husband, to NICU.

When our delivery class counselor referred NICU to our hospital visit, I must admit that I did not think much of it. Not because it wasn’t an important place, but because I never thought we would end up there. After a pregnancy that was “normal,” simple, though, I expected her birth to be the same. But then I was, as soon as I was born, taken to NICU to see my baby.

I will never forget the moment we walked through the NICU doors and saw my little baby sitting on an isolette, pulled by tubes and wires and machines. I heard idle, and fearful. I really wanted to hold her, to comfort her, so that everything would be all right. Instead, I whispered to my husband that I would have to return to the barn to breathe. The doors were locked before I fell, crying, and running to do what I could to bring this up, feeling like I had already failed like her mother.

When I returned to my hospital room, tears welled up in my eyes. My wonderful nurse, Michelle — who had been by my husband’s side throughout my life at birth — came to give me papers and help prepare me to move to another room. When she saw me crying, she knelt down next to me and took me by the hand to comfort me. all in all, this will all be a distant memory. Then he will start a dairy school, and on that day he will cry again and again. ”

It’s the kind of thing you can’t fully appreciate right now, but those words play in my mind over and over again from the day we brought Bennett home from NICU. With each doctor’s appointment and NICU follow-up, each passing month and the new thing they accomplish. One day. One day, it seems too far away. And then, one day, it isn’t.

Now, here we are, the night of Bennett’s second birth. Overall, they spent eight days at NICU — a small fraction of the time that other families would be there, but only the longest days of our lives, however. And that’s the truth memory is not that far away-not here. I still remember the smell of NICU, the sound of monitors crying in the middle of the night, the cries of toddlers, and the sight of my precious baby being pulled by wires and machines. But I also remember the obstetrician, pediatrician, and medical team that played a key role in Bennett’s birth. I remember the names of all the wonderful nurses who helped us along the way, who miraculously cared for our baby in the early days of his life, who made us strong and confident that we are new parents. They will be an integral part of our family story forever. And I remember the great love and support we received from NICU’s family, friends, and fellow parents. No words can describe the depth of our appreciation for any of these people.

But far more important is the picture of the new mother, weeping on the way. Feelings of failure, helplessness, fear and uncertainty have been followed by fear, and excitement, and a profound love that I never imagined. With every bit of laughter and a bad smile, every kiss and “I love you, Mom,” I get closer to that “one day”.

And about that first day of kindergarten, you can bet that my camera — and my Kleenex — will be ready.

Note One day, there will be two: A wise word from a nurse to NICU ladies appeared for the first time Parents Today.

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