Expected Calendar – Week 2


the parable of the sperm swimming to the egg to give birth

Welcome to the two-week wait! These are the most frustrating days between ovulation and pestick.

Let’s face it: Exercise doesn’t make a baby feel bad. Drinking margarita (or hell, most margaritas) before you know you are pregnant will not make your baby’s brain grow inside. Sleeping on the side / back / abdomen does not cause / prevent miscarriage / ectopic pregnancy / baby with fins.

The human race? We are a very strong team. We have been to many more years without first pregnancy test results and six weeks of ultrasound and Folic Acid supplementation. Obviously, things do happen – and often things are done at a young age in a way that is detrimental, but there is little you can do to change the outcome. So give a pregnant vitamin, drink any fluid you feel like a concussion, snap your fingers and hope for the best.

And this goes for anyone who already knows she is pregnant and is now researching the first few weeks scared of “something” she did wrong before she knew it. That hour in a hot pot… fell on a very cold street wamphamvu a strong beer party at a friend’s bachelorette party. Did I hurt my baby?

I was right there with the Best of the Neurotics during my first pregnancy. Any stress and conflict meant hours of worry and anxiety. Every time I went to the bathroom, I would look for blood. I fell down a flight of stairs to a restaurant and slept on it all day. And you know what? It didn’t change anything, except that all I remember about early pregnancy was anxiety and fear. I continued to give birth to an honest God-child tank, wishing someone would just hit me right away and tell me it was CHILL OUT.

So my goal in this case is to do the following: CHILL OUT. And remember that not all things are in my hands, that any Evil cannot be avoided by looking at fruits and vegetables and just a few mercury fish, and that expecting the worst is not as painful as it happens. So… take a deep breath… enjoy it, Selfishness. (How to enjoy something that makes you tired and tired and swollen.)

And for any expectant mother who will be with me for the next 30 weeks or so, hopefully it will be a written word like a slap in the face. You too, be cool! It’s a system! Look how happy I am! Eeeeeeeee!

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